then

You asked me if I have ever been in love that night. I said yes, but you know what, I don’t think I ever have. Looking back at my past relationships there was no one quite like you. Have I ever been in love? My answer now? No, I have never been in love, but I have definitely never felt this for anyone else.

I never had an issue with you coming and going in and out of my life, I actually enjoyed it... until that night. I allowed you into my heart and I know that you allowed me into yours to but you have ignored me ever since. I can’t seem to get you off of my mind. You always put up such a good front with me and I finally saw the raw you, and that raw piece of you is the one that has my heart. I haven’t spoken to anyone about that night because I don’t even know where to begin. All I know is I’m getting tired of your games, I’m tired of you showing me the deepest part of you and then ignoring my every attempt to talk to you.

They say if you love something, let it go… if it comes back to you, then its yours to keep forever. Well J, this is me letting you go, now the rest? Well that’s up to you to decide, but just know, I won’t wait for you forever.

head above water

Did you ever picture life like this


No shooting star to grant your wish
Are you everything you hoped you'd be
Or caught somewhere in between
You dropped your nickel down a wishing well
And prayed for luck to cast its spell
To bring you closer to your dreams
That always seem just out of reach
You pray to God the moment when
You feel the current pull you in

Try to keep your head above water
Has never been harder
Even when it feels hopeless
You're gonna get through this
Head above water, gotta fight from going under
Even when it feels useless to wish
You're gonna get through this

Have you ever felt like giving in
Tried for hours but just can't win
Tell yourself you're not good enough
The struggle alone is just too much
No one's there to hear you scream
You gasp for air but cannot breathe
Did you ever think you'd see the day
When you'd watch your life get washed away

Well, I did