me.myself.I

I feel like my blog too often expresses the love for another individual and I think that loving someone else is a necessity in life. I think that we need to love ourselves before we can even consider to love anything or anyone else in our lives. 

This maybe coming out as a reaction and revolution of the current events that have just taken place in my life but now I know for certain that I can't do anything in my life unless I have the power to love who i am. 

All life long we are told that we have to follow a specific line of events, like college then intern then job then married then babies then old then die. I don't want to fall into this layout that society has planned out for me. I wanna lust after life with a courageous soul and adventurous heart. I want to run after the sunrise in the Grand Canyon and I wanna climb the Eiffel Tower. 

Well, this could be why I just left my girlfriend for two years, some of my amazing friends, and (soon) my internship. It's true that they were great opportunities but they blinded me from who i wanted to be as an individual. 

Individual. ahhh I love the sound of that word. I'm going to embrace being me and love every single second of it. I'm going to love my emotional state of mind, my soccer thighs and inability to do cartwheels. I'm gonna soak up every little inch of myself and love it... and appreciate who I am.

hmm, too often we all get caught up in the day to day to do lists in our lives, but today let's take a step back and say " I'M GOING TO EAT THIS HAMBURGER AND NOT FEEL FAT!" and just enjoy the life that we are all so blessed to have. 

C'est La vie my friends. 
have a nice the day :)

lemme tell ya

                                        

                                            You have no idea...

                                            of what I feel about you

                                            of how much I care about you

                                            of how much you make me happy and sad at the same time

                                            of how much you make me feel so alive

                                            of the butterfly riot that takes place in my stomach when you talk to me

No, you have no idea

this time

I've just watched a relationship that I truly believed was so caring and resilient, crumble in front of my eyes. There was nothing I could do to change the way she felt, I couldn't change the choice she made. I gave it all I could, but this time it wasn't enough. It was just over, just like that. Yet knowing these blunt facts, I’m still haunted by the ‘what if’s?’ that expand my doubts. 

Learning to block out these dangerously over-whelming thoughts and replace them with the acceptance that I’m never getting back what I had, hasn't exactly been the healthiest or easiest journey. Nor has it helped lessened how absolutely drained and heart broken I am after this.

Good people leave, it happens. I’m learning that It’s not to make us weak but to instead strengthen us. These people walk out on us to allow better people to take their place. To fill in all the gaps the previous person wasn't able to fill.

I don’t know how long it’ll take or how many hit and misses I’ll experience before this better person makes herself apparent, but I do know that when she does I’ll be happy that I made the choice to endure this pain they call ‘moving on’ rather than holding onto the fake hope you led me to believe that maybe one day we’ll pick up where we left off. 

February 2012 I had my first thoughts. 
March 2013    I know how right I was.

This was , too good to be true.

And I’m glad.

okay

okay, so I really really need time to take care of this little blog. hahaha

since I busy with task, project, and exam, I think I can't put my hands in the keyboard to write something here. well, I still write here but not now until 20 April I guess.

you can see my quick update on my Path, Instagram, and of course, Twitter! so, see ya!

"I guess we are not perfect individually.

But then again. these imperfections are

me and you. I love that. and I love You."

refrain

If you could go back in time and take back everything you said, would you? Would you refrain from our first words? Would you take back our first I love you? Would you take back all of the compliments? Would you ignore me when I pleaded for your help? Would you take back the memories? Most importantly, would you take back goodbye?

Frustrated because I can't tell if it's real. Mad because I don't know how you feel. Upset because we can't make it right. Sad because I ned you day and night. Angry because you won't take my hand. Aggravated because you don't understand. Disappointed because we can't be together, but I'll still love you forever. Did you ever fall in love with someone, and knew they didn't care? Did you ever feel like crying, but knew it wouldn't get you anywhere? Did you ever look into their eyes and say a little prayer? Did you ever look into their heart and find that you weren't there? You'll cry out in misery and almost go insane cause there's nothing in this world that causes so much pain. If I could choose between love and death I'd rather die. Love is great, but it hurts so much, the rate we pay is so high. So when I say "don't fall in love, you'll be hurt before it's through" believe me, I should know, I fell in love with you.

i'm dreaming